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| You know, a lot of things have changed for me in the past two years. Two years ago, I could not have imagined being where I am right now. Although the path to today wasn't always easy or filled with friends like I wish it had been, it turned out okay. Although I want to see a lot of people before they all go off to college, I doubt it will happen in these last few weeks of August. So to anyone that ever reads this, good luck in life and I'll see you around, hopefully. I think we would both be surprised by the other person. | | |
| - Ambulances Life is strange...so, so strange. For a few years now, it is as though something is really guiding me along, pointing out the way ahead...the only dilemma is whether it is all real or not. But if I didn't think it was real, I wouldn't even be writing this. I seem to let things flow a lot more these days...which is good and bad at the same time. It's when I try to fight it that my mind freaks out.
Everyone has to find their own path in life...but for some people it is so goddamn hard, it seems. And the start contrast between my apparent knowledge of what I want to do with life and his total lack thereof...it makes things impossible all too often.
Shit, it happens. All you can do is shut up about it and continue on.
Peace out, all you crazy people. | | |
| Life is alright, I guess. Life goes on and time passes by, but things do change.
I still don't have it all figured out, but I have time still.
There are just too many shortcomings and downfalls around here, too many memories of a much, much worse time in my life. I almost feel like a sellout at times, for leaving high school the way I did and making something better of my life...but that's not really selling out.
Peace | | |
| School...is stressful. A geology "teacher" who basically just tells you to transfer to a 4 years school if you don't like her boring and unchallenging class. A calculus class that I have an A in but is very irksome to deal with.
Work...can be stressful. Dealing with students who want to have things their way and when you can't give that to them, they ask for a different tutor, to your face. And having to work with someone who doesn't seem to respect you or think you are competent is rough too.
Life...is just hellish. Put it all together, with the stress, the running around, the fact that hardly anyone knows where I went to after 10th grade, having to deal with a difficult ex-boyfriend...it drives me mad.
And to everyone who still doesn't know what happened to me after 10th grade...I have been going to Montco for two years now, I'll graduate in the spring with an A.S. in Liberal Studies, and hopefully transfer to Juniata College for this coming Fall. I really didn't just drop off the face of the earth, or move, or anything. Same old place, same old me.
Peace | | |
| Ah, singleness. As in not being with someone. Those were ten interesting months...
*EDIT* Things regarding my behavior and mental processes towards other human beings in a physical sense have not changed. I am sad to discover this. I was definitely safer when I was with someone. Definitely.
Being in between college semesters is rough...especially when everyone has gone off to college, or will be, or high school, or they're unable to be reached. Anger and inward frustration quickly develop.
I am going to get some new art supplies. I want to explore some new mediums.
Art Medium of the Day: scrap metal from dismantles computers.
Peace | | |
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